Mental Mastery

November 18, 2023

How many times have you heard that story about the young guy in high school who got rejected or broken up with by his girlfriend?

He usually ends up in the gym right? If he does, he ends up getting in the best shape of his life. He looks more attractive, he is more confident in himself, and he’s mentally healthier. All these positive things breed from an unfortunate situation. 

What started as a low point in his life, slowly turned into the highest point ever. That would not have happened if he didn’t have that heartbreak. And you could make the case that he would have found the gym anyway, and that may be true but it wouldn’t have happened the same way. 

The progress wouldn’t be as fast or redeeming.

Everyone has a story. The stories that go on to be known by many are by the people who turned their suffering into fuel for improvement.

In this letter, I’ll be highlighting the steps required to turn your suffering into success. 

People choose to perceive their suffering as nothing but suffering and refuse to use that as fuel for greatness. They do not realize that life is supposed to be hard. And the harder life is or the lower your lows, the higher the highs you can have.

The only reason why we get enjoyment out of anything in life is because we are comparing it to something negative. How can we appreciate something when there’s no baseline? 

The entire world is made up of push and pull good and evil, yin and yang. 

In this case, it is suffering and well-being or happiness. 

You’re unconsciously comparing everything you see and do to its polar opposite to make a judgment on it. And this is of course based on your own experiences and biases. 

For that high school kid I mentioned earlier, that breakup might be the worst thing that ever happened to him, but to his dad, or someone who might have already been in that position earlier in their life, it’s just a whisper in the wind.

Going farther back than that, when you were a toddler, you cried over stupid small things like your pacifier falling on the ground or something. That was the worst thing that’s ever happened to you at that point. 

So my point with this is not necessarily that suffering is subjective, but that suffering is based on the level of your current perspective. 

You can’t control your circumstances sometimes. But you can choose how you perceive them.

“To live is to suffer. To survive is to find meaning in the suffering.”-DMX

Whether that suffering is intentional (going to the gym), or the result of an unfortunate circumstance (losing your job).

It’s like a motivational push, a force compelling you toward greatness.

Most people miss out on this opportunity by complaining about their situation rather than seizing the chance to make the most of it. 

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” isn’t just a corny line from a song. I mean it is, but it’s also a profound statement that everyone should be taking to heart.

If you do it right, this suffering is how you create intrinsic motivation.

A lot of people (not everyone), initially hop on self-improvement driven by shallow and superficial motives. But the only ones who truly commit are the people who develop deeper, intrinsic reasons for their efforts. 

The desire for material items like a Lamborgini might provide you with some motivation, but it is the evolution over time and the experiences gained that often lead to more profound goals. What started as wanting a nice car turned into retiring your mom. But this is a natural progression that happens with time.

Crafting the “blueprint” for your future requires you to utilize your current or past challenges as your “negative blueprint”

When you confront and understand what you don’t want- the aspects of your present situation that are undesirable- you gain clarity. It serves as a contrasting backdrop that you can use to define what you DO want. 

Having a clear understanding of your negative blueprint can create a powerful demand for change. And it becomes a catalyst for shaping positive intentions. 

You’re using that negative energy and turning it into motivational energy, propelling you toward creating positive energy that aligns with your values and your passion.

This shift mindset shift of using negativity as fuel for growth brings purpose and direction to your life. 

This is intrinsic motivation. The best kind.

Intrinsic motivation is a lot stronger than motivation that comes from shallow superficial things. 

Tying it back to the gym, who’s going to make more progress faster? The guy who goes to the gym because it’s trending or the guy who wants to improve his life and discipline and he knows that it’s possible through fitness?

If you aren’t striving towards something in your life through some kind of philosophy, that motivation will fade. This is exactly what happened to me. I originally started going to the gym just to get bigger muscles and because my friends were going. I didn’t have intrinsic reasons to keep going and I didn’t care about any other part of the gym. I actively disliked going to the gym. Once I stopped going with other people and felt that I had made decent progress, I was stagnant. I stopped going. It wasn’t until I came back with deeper ambitions that I was able to get and stay consistent. I fell in love with the process and the idea that my future self would thank me for going. That was enough to push me to go and continue going today. 

Actionable step:

Take out a journal. Figure out what you don’t want. Chances are you might already know what you don’t want because you’re living it. Write down everything that comes to mind and be as specific as possible. 

This is what I do to reflect on negative situations in my life. 

Now underneath that, determine what you do want. Picture the lifestyle of your ideal self.

After you have these things written down, compare them. What’s the difference?

What are you doing right now that is preventing you from living that life? What are the habits and milestones that you need to complete to make that dream a reality? 

Having a plan is how you bring clarity in a state of worry. Without structured information or a system, you’re shooting in the dark.

Clarity: clearness or lucidity as to perception or understanding

You need to understand and outline the path to get what you want out of life. 

That, paired with the desire for your blueprint over your negative blueprint is way stronger than just relying on spontaneous motivation.

Focus on the now at all times. It is the only thing that is in your control. Whether that be your actions or how you perceive circumstances. 

To perceive circumstances in a positive light, you must understand that hard times are a part of life. Reality does not care about your feelings. And it is okay to feel bad about something, but that’s all it is. Just a bad feeling. Don’t let bad feelings take control of your mind and actions.

And that is all for today, 

Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it. 

-Abraham