Self-Improvement

March 2, 2024

Dopamine.

The neurotransmitter that is responsible for motivation, drive, craving, and time perception.

Unfortunately, it also causes addictions. Like drugs, alcohol, junk food, porn, and doomscrolling.

You probably suffer from at least one of these things.

Most people, including myself, tend to go back to their cheap pleasures even when they know it's bad.

We end up feeling like we can do more but don't change because we don't have a clear vision of what we want and what to do about it.

People, even when they are aware of the problem, still struggle to make changes in their lives.

Aware of the problem, but not aware of how to fix it.

Leaving you in this helpless state of desire for more.

You may think that there is something that you need to do. Some drastic changes that you need to make to feel good again.

You don't know what it is, but you assume it's too hard so why bother trying?

This is exactly what makes these types of pleasure "cheap pleasure."

If you want to stop indulging in cheap pleasures and end this cycle of feeling bad for yourself but not doing anything to fix it, then this letter is for you.

Before we begin, be sure to check out my productivity system, the Purpose Planner.

It's my personal Notion template that I use for finding direction, habit tracking, and monthly, weekly, and daily planning.

There's a special discount for those that buy it at launch.

You will have access to lifetime updates in the course and any future template versions. Check it out here.

Lack of Direction Leads To Fear

I've been through this cycle before, and I'm going through it again.

These phases of entropy slipped into my life, with things falling apart, and me not knowing what to do.

Or knowing, but not doing anything about it.

I indulge in cheap pleasures and lose all motivation and discipline to do the hard work. I started to look for ways out of my situation that don't require me to tackle the problem head-on.

In reality, all this happens whenever I lose direction.

I'm not clear on what I want for my future and therefore cannot filter out the things that truly matter to me and make the right choices.

You lack purpose.

A direction to head towards that would stop you from doing those things.

If you lack purpose, it means you don't have any goals to strive towards. Even if you can think of some goals, they probably aren't meaningful enough to give you the self-discipline to choose that over pleasure.

“Most people pursue physical pleasures or psychological forms of gratification because they believe that those things will make them happy or free them form a feeling of fear or lack. Happiness may be perceived as a heightened sense of aliveness; attained through physical pleasure. Or a more secure and more complete sense of self attained through some form of physiological gratification.“-Eckhart Tolle

Nothing causes angst, fear, and depression-like lacking direction does.

Being lost in the woods isn't too bad when you have a compass.

If you know the direction you are headed, you can never truly be lost.

You feel lost because you have too many distractions in your day that don't serve your purpose, steering you off course.

Sit With The Source of Your Suffering

The first action step that you will have to take is to disconnect from the very things that you keep going back to.

You won't be able to overcome them while they are right in front of you (contrary to what some gurus will tell you).

You need to create some space between you and everything that is taking up your psychic energy. It will be impossible to have any direction in your life if you are constantly distracting yourself with things to fill the void, or more accurately, to drown out the source of your suffering.

Sit with yourself. No music. No phone. Just you and your thoughts. If this is uncomfortable to do, that is a problem.

You're running from something. But every addiction eventually reaches a point where it doesn't hide the pain anymore. Because pleasure done in repetition only leads to boredom. And that's when it hurts worse than ever before.

You haven't had the motivation to push through the problem in your life because there's nothing waiting for you on the other side.

You lack purpose.

The only way to find that purpose, and that direction is if you sit with the problem and realize that you need to overcome this instead of running from it.

Find Your Direction

As much as you would like to sit there and distract yourself, life demands that you move in some kind of direction.

If you don't choose which direction you are heading in, you will follow the one that is set out for you. And we all know how that ends up. When on a path that isn't your own, any satisfaction you attain will be very short-lived.

You need to get clear on what you want, start there, and watch the clarity create itself.

You don't need to know your life's purpose right now.

I'm not sure of mine yet. But, you need to create your own clarity and energy. Then you can focus on a meaningful goal that will give you the dopamine needed to keep you satisfied and occupied for now.

What better way to find direction than to look from the perspective of your ideal self?

Someone who already has everything you want.

This will help you to create "intrinsic" motivation.

The level of motivation you have towards anything falls on a spectrum.

One end is “intrinsic” and the other is “extrinsic.”

Intrinsic motivation refers to behavior that is driven by internal rewards.

In other words, you do a behavior because it is naturally fulfilling.

This contrasts with extrinsic motivation. It involves doing a behavior for external rewards or to avoid punishments.

Lasting motivation comes from within. This makes intrinsic motivation more powerful.

The Blueprint Method is how you create intrinsic motivation for yourself.

This method allows you to view the world through the lens of your ideal self and align your current actions with that.

It starts with a retrospective analysis of your past and current self to determine what you dislike and want to avoid in the future.

Then take those feelings and channel them toward figuring out what you do want. When you do this you use your emotions to create intrinsic motivation for yourself.

It's a process that I go over in much more detail in the Purpose Planner.

For the sake of time, I'll only give you some of the questions from the Positive Blueprint side of things. That way you can get a better idea of what your ideal future looks like.

I recommend you take out a pen and paper for this part.

Your positive blueprint is everything that you want.

This encapsulates every part of your ideal lifestyle, not just your goals.

What is your desired living situation like?

What does your ideal day-to-day routine look like?

This should spark excitement.

Again, think about things like:

• Living situation

• Job/Career

• School/Grades

• Partners/Relationships

• Personality traits

• Desired body/health

• Lifestyle

• Habits

This should be a lot easier to do when you know what you don’t want. Chances are, you're probably living it, which is why we skipped the negative side of things for now.

You can't know what you want until you know what you don’t want.

More detail leads to a wider view and more clarity.

Even if it seems like there is much to think about and many goals to reach, it shouldn't overwhelm you.

The idea is to get these thoughts into your subconscious mind. Then, you can become aware of the things in your day-to-day that serve or don't serve that identity.

If you can do this well, you will have made the intrinsic motivation needed for things like self-discipline and resilience.

I want to be an author within the next few years. It is part of my ideal future to write full-time. If I have a clear direction to head towards and it's true to who I am, then I will want to do things that will make that future happen.

I will want to do them more than I will want to do things that hinder it.

I would rather wake up before dawn every morning and write rather than sleep in.

I would rather pick up a book than pick up my phone and mindlessly scroll.

I would rather fast in the mornings than eat sugary pastries and drinks. I want to avoid brain fog so I can write better.

On my breaks, I'd rather walk than watch YouTube. I don't want to spike my dopamine before work.

Over time, you can see this will build an identity. It will resist cheap pleasure to pursue meaningful goals.

Of course, though, as it always does, entropy will make its way into your life. Attempting to steer you off course and set you down the wrong path. This is what happens when you aren't staying clear on what you want.

Your purpose, your ideal future, may be shifting slightly, but you haven't taken note of it. You're still heading where you decided in the past. The new purpose is trying to show itself but you aren't looking.

This is inevitable. You may be in a state of confusion about your life path. It seemed like everything was going smoothly but out of the blue, you lost all motivation to continue doing something that you were just enjoying.

Or you may still want to finish that layer of your purpose.

But, distraction or a life event let entropy in.

In any case, when this happens, don't indulge in cheap pleasures. This will slow the process down.

Leaving you in that lost state for even longer, increasing the chances of you falling into the cycle that we are trying to avoid.

After you've thought and written about your ideal future and purpose, and which direction to head, what to do will become clear again. And that's when you should go all in.

When you're ready and need help with setting goals and staying purposeful, check out my notion template: The Purpose Planner to create your own clarity.

If you're not quite ready yet, feel free to check out 14 Days To Purpose. It's a free journaling course that also includes some prompts to help you craft your ideal future.

Enjoy your weekend,

-Abraham